2 more days before we finally bid 2009 goodbye. Hello 2010. Here is a run down of the things that I remember about my year. Some of them I am thankful for and some, well… happened because it had to happen. *This is the part where I interject a wistful sigh [and slow music starts]*

Listed in the order that I remembered them.

  1. My first Valentine’s day with my boyfriend was uhm… dramatic. literally. tears.. tears and more tears. It had been my fault and I really thought I’m going to lose him then. We’re going on our 17th month next month. Thank heavens for the gift of love! Maybe our next heart’s day would be better than our first. *crossing fingers!*
  2. Graduation! Finally. Who would have thought I’d finish Nursing?! The course is off tangent with everything I am interested with.
  3. My mom went home for my graduation. My boyfriend finally met both sides of my family so I guess that was when we became official. There is now a face behind the name.
  4. The second time I went to Boracay, I pretended to be somebody else. My brother and I went as far as making fake Id’s. I was praying the whole trip that we [more like I] don’t get busted. It was exhilarating.
  5. I took the Nursing Licensure Exam. Boy! I was trying to play it cool while we were all reviewing but as the dreaded day inched nearer, I started to feel really stressed [crapped] out about it. After the exam, came the anxiety of waiting and idleness.  Waiting and being idle are two things I can’t have at the same time. I was crazy- bored [ and maybe a little, ok. a lot worried about the results] at home. When I found out that I passed the exam, it felt like a big load was lifted off my shoulders. I don’t want to take that exam again! I have yet to try adding that 2 letters after my name. My short name is now 2 letters longer.
  6. I worked as a web content writer for a few months. The name sounded nice but really, there’s nothing glamorous about the job. All I care about was being able to do the thing that I wanted so much to do : WRITE.
  7. I underwent Laparoscopic Cholecystectomy last November 28. I am never sickly.  The worst illness I ever had was gastroenteritis when I was in grade school . I am the kind of nurse who hated being in the hospital, who fears injection and whose brain go into stupid mode at the sight of her own blood– the blood that doesn’t come monthly from her genitalia that is. Yep, I am a wuss. 15 minutes after the Doctor told me I needed to have surgery, I called my mom and cried like a scared 3-year-old kid. The little boy next  to me in the E.R. stared at me with his mouth open. When the O.R. nurse transferred me on the table, I felt like saying I changed my mind, but I was so drugged up to even keep my eyes open.
  8. My first anniversary with my boyfriend was dramatic still. 2009 was [I think] a year of really getting to know each other, understanding and finding out the other’s capacity and incapacity. By this time, I wish I can say I know him like the back of my hand [like the way he claims to know me] but I can’t. Sometimes, when I look at him, I feel like there are corners and places that I haven’t discovered yet. I wanted to see [even just a glance of] his soul, his core. I wanted so much to discover the man still hiding behind the shadows. I want to embrace him fully, in all of his nakedness without the walls separating him from me.
  9. 2009 was a year of giving out and accepting apologies. Apologies were given for pains that don’t need soothing anymore. I realized that apologies, much like food, have expiry dates. I don’t like digging too deep in the past – this can also be translated to: I don’t keep grudges. Apologies for long gone issues don’t really do anything to me. Then,  I realized, sometimes we say sorry not because it is needed but just so we can get over the ill feeling of not being able to atone for our mistakes.
  10. Time. Toward the latter part of the year, I became totally idle and I can’t do anything about it. Finally, I became thankful for the gift of time. It is not so often that people are given the chance to be by themselves, think of the things they really want to do and do them. It’s rare that people are given the opportunity to breathe and actually feel themselves breathing. I am starting to love my idle time.

The coming year represents getting older, a few lines drawn on my face and a few pounds on the scale. It also means another batch of chances and new experiences. I don’t believe in new year’s resolutions so I don’t have any. What I hope though, is for the coming year to be a year of more love and dreams coming true.


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