photo credit from: http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddiseases/pubs/dictionary/pages/l-p.htmLast Thursday, I found out I have gallstones. I thought the abdominal pain I’ve felt for the past weeks isn’t something serious. The E.R. doctor told me that the gallbladder needs to be removed to avoid further complications. Saturday morning, I underwent Laparoscopic Cholecystectomy. Now, I’m not in so much pain anymore, save for the pain from the few stitches I have.


I never liked being in the hospital. I don’t like how it smells and how I feel every time I’m in one. To me, hospitals have always been like a bridge separating the healthy from the sick and the dying. It’s like a big lobby with 3 doors. The first door would lead you to wellness. The second door to sickness and the 3rd door would bring you death. Your response to your treatments would be the measure as to which door is for you.

Surgery worked for me. I am now officially abdominal-pain free (and also gallbladder free).

If chronic pain can be managed by surgery, I wonder how many people would go to the lengths and heights of surgery to ease their pains. Would cardioectomy solve the pains of an ailing heart? Or craniotomy manage chronic stupidity?

Lately, I find myself always in the company of disappointment and loneliness. Whether this is because I am overly sensitive or overly needy, I really couldn’t tell. That’s how I feel and some people couldn’t understand that. Sometimes  I feel like the people around me don’t know how to handle  my bouts of  sensitivity and my being too needy.  There comes a point when I just want to shut everyone out because I don’t know how to explain things anymore. I don’t know how to say ” I need you” in any clearer way. Shutting my thoughts in is the safest way to live or  maybe I need an electric shock to the nerves to restart my body’s impulses and numb or damage my neurons.

*sigh* I guess, I need a lot more than just laparoscopic cholecystectomy to fix my self.

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