How Far are You Willing to Go for Love?

I thought I know a lot of things about love. I thought having at least one long-term relationship gives you the right to say that you’re a seasoned pro on love. It turned out I was wrong.

All I can say now is that I had it all too easy on love. Sure, I’ve had my fair share of  heart aches and complications, but I realized that my experiences don’t measure up to those of others.  Listening to people of the same age as I am talk about their experiences and how they dealt with their problems made me doubt my capacity to love.

One time, I was asked to be more understanding. I thought that was easy, but even that was  so hard to do when mixed with a lot of factors. How can you be understanding when you’re in so much doubt? How do you understand somebody who doesn’t even care to explain the situation; when you’re always kept guessing? I’ve always tried to have an open mind, but how do you maintain that when everything you see and feel go against what you hear?  Do you get up and leave or just suck everything up?

Another time, I was forced to set aside expectations because that was seen as being too demanding. That was fine. After all, less expectations mean less disappointments. But how do you cook up a relationship to suit your and your partner’s taste buds without being seen as a domineering partner? How do you put your favorite pink shade in your partner’s earthly paint palette without ruining the color composition? Not expecting is expecting not to expect. Somehow, it doesn’t have any difference to me except for how the words are placed together. So, when I decide not to expect anything, I still end up disappointed because I got nothing. Who wants nothing right?

Time. I’ve always believed that a good relationship is cemented with a few buckets of time. I’ve seen many relationships end because of too much time or the lack of it. What’s the purpose of time anyway? You give (or ask for) time and you’re so clingy. You don’t have time and you’re taking your partner for granted. They say there’s love at first sight, but there’s also love that grows. Does the former mean less than the latter? How does long distance relationships work when time is not always on their side?

Love. Really, I don’t understand it but I can’t leave without it (or the person I associate it with). It’s too complicated that it’s exhilarating to most people, addicting to some. Life would have been more simpler if it was just love that we have to think of. When you put in career, finances, doubts, insecurities and fear, love becomes a totally complicated word game.

Words. If you know how to play with words, you’d get by love safely. Since love is abstract, we need words to make it concrete, to make love feel more real. Too much words (and the lack of words) can make or break a relationship. So, sometimes we lie to either save a relationship or lay it down slowly. It’s really just a matter of word play.

A coin has 2 sides and so does a sword. If love is a coin, choosing would be easy. Love is more like a sword. You pick the wrong side and you bleed. You choose the blunted side and even that will scratch your skin if you’re not careful enough.

Love doesn’t always guarantee happiness but it always comes with pain. How far are you willing to go for it?

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