After Watching New Moon

There are books that aren’t meant to be made into movies. The Twilight Series is one of them. I’ve read the entire series and I’ve watched Twilight and New Moon. Both movies are just… well, plain. Boring. For anything, New Moon (the movie) is less lame than Twilight.

10 minutes after the movie started, I made my first yawn. I stopped counting my yawns when it exceeded 5 and I haven’t even watched half of the film. The movie lasted for more than 2 hours and through the entire course of the movie, I was itching to get up and leave. Of course, I stayed until the last scene. After all, I blew 200 pesos to watch it, I might as well finish the film.

I don’t understand what’s wrong with Kristen Stewart (Bella). Her lack of emotion bored me to death. She was so monotonous, I would have dozed off to sleep just listening to her talk. She had a generic expression for all her emotions, that being perplexed. It felt as though she always doesn’t know what’s going on around her.  It seemed like she was trained to only have one tone of voice and facial expression. Again, boring.

Robert Pattinson (Edward) looked underfed in the film. He was disgustingly malnourished. I didn’t see a vampire when I look at him. I saw a malnourished man who needs to be fed of protein and carbohydrates so he can gain more weight. Sure, he has muscles and all but there’s something about him that shouts “Feed me, I need food”. His 6 pack looked out-of-place on his body. I couldn’t even call it lean, it looked more like a wasting body to me. Then again, maybe it’s just because of his paleness. Still, it’s disturbing.

I have no problems with the author making sissy vampires. I read something describing the Twilight vampires as “pop vampires”. I thought it was a good deviation from the norm. Letting my imagination run as I read the story is better than actually watching the story unfold in front of me. I understand now why some people hate the Twilight series so much. There really is something wrong with seeing a vampire sparkle under the sun.

Bella and Edward, in the story, are running wild hormones. You’d see how they were both guarding themselves when they were kissing. I was like “What the hell, just get on with it will you? So we can all be on our way already.” I understand the restrain, and so does everybody. I think the scene was just unnecessary.

For those of you who have read the series but haven’t watched the movie yet, I suggest that you don’t watch the movie at all. You’re better off imagining how the story goes than see it on the big screen. 2 hours of boredom is just too long.

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